It’s a fact of life that every second we’re ALL aging. However, it’s often easier for most people to accept their own aging than it is to witness their parents growing older. The transition into the final phase of life is one that requires great support, compassion, and care. Whether your parents are downsizing, moving closer to family, or transitioning into assisted living, approaching the process with empathy and patience can make all the difference.

You want to start the conversation with your parents about aging and possible transitions early! Begin discussing future plans while your parents can actively participate in the decision-making process and avoid waiting. If you put off the conversation, you risk a crisis occurring unexpectedly. A crisis forces quick decisions, and you certainly don’t want to find yourself in that position.

The best way to show your aging parents support is simple: listen to them! Ask what matters most to them and listen. Hear what their priorities are for themselves and respect those priorities. They may value independence, staying close to friends, keeping cherished belongings, or maintaining familiar routines. Support them in their values! Understanding their goals will help guide you to make better decisions for their future.

All of them! Whenever possible, let your parents take the lead on decisions that need to be made and include them in every single one. Involve them every step of the way in choosing their new home, deciding what to keep/purge, planning the move, etc. They may be aging, but they are still your parents; this is their life, and they deserve to be included in every decision being made. This inclusion helps preserve their sense of control and dignity; allowing them to have both is ultimately the best support you can offer them.

You want to not only make them feel like they have a say in the decisions being made, but also acknowledge that these times often bring strong emotions. Leaving a home often means saying goodbye to decades of memories. Acknowledge this and show your understanding! Give your parents space (and time) to express sadness, excitement, or uncertainty without minimizing their feelings. Have patience and hold space for every emotion they’re experiencing.

You will have the most success if you take downsizing one step at a time. Sorting through a lifetime of belongings can feel overwhelming, so focus on one room or category at a time. To make the experience more enjoyable for your aging parents, celebrate progress and preserve meaningful items through photos or keepsake collections. Use our posts about what to keep, donate, or sell when downsizing and how to organize and preserve your memorabilia to help you tackle the process. And if it is too overwhelming, or if you’re lacking the time needed to provide this sensitive care for your parents, consider bringing in a third party to help. An organizer (such as Sorted Out^®!) will immensely relieve the anxiety and stress that downsizing brings to a family working through the transition on their own. A third-party professional has no emotional attachments/memories to anything and can talk through it with family members while keeping the supportive environment intact.

You always want to consider and prioritize their safety and comfort. Consider features that support long-term well-being (fewer stairs, accessible bathrooms, good lighting, nearby healthcare, opportunities for social engagement, etc.) Again, hear and consider their opinions when it comes to making decisions! You should also consider how they will be able to best keep their familiar routines. Maintaining favorite hobbies, mealtimes, family traditions, and regular visits provides comfort. Maintaining these comforts will help ease the adjustment to a new environment.

Show your parents that you want their hobbies and routines to be maintained, but it’s also important that you encourage them to make new social connections! Help your parents build relationships with neighbors, community groups, or activity programs to keep them involved. Staying socially connected improves emotional and physical well-being, while supporting longer independence.

Your parents obviously may struggle during this challenging transition in their lives, but it may also be hard on you. The best thing you can do to support them and save your sanity is to be patient during the adjustment. (Sometimes easier said than done; I know!) But always keep it in the back of your mind that as hard as this may be for you, it’s harder for them. Every person adapts at their own pace, and while some may settle in quickly, others need weeks or even months to feel at home. Continue to show your support by checking in often and offering encouragement.

If it’s too much, or if your patience has begun to wear thin, be proactive and ask for help! You do not have to be alone in helping your parents get through these transitions. If needed, reach out to family members or organizers such as Sorted Out^® who specialize in life transitions/aging clients. You may also seek help from experienced healthcare providers, senior move managers, or other community resources that can provide valuable support to your loved ones. By calling for backup, you’ll show your aging parents that you’re doing everything in your power to support them at a time they need it.

We understand that getting older and facing big transitions are HARD. With our own parents, with countless clients… we’ve been there! We understand. We also recognize that in reading this post, you’ve already displayed the most important thing – you care. Your aging parents are going to need you to be there and to care. If you can do those two things but still feel in over your head, please reach out to us. We will get to know you and your parents, then make a personalized match with you and one of our expert organizers. Together, as a team, we can transition your parents into what we hope is an incredible next stage of their life!

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Tonia